This Urgency

Ah to be as you content in your little world
i never used to long for that
Felt special chosen superior
Even if i had little to show for it
That feeling was always there
i selfishly have nurtured it
A sort of contempt for the mundane the normal
What i considered pathetic and insignificant
Laughable
In my arrogance
But the price was high for my condition
This urgency and dissatisfaction
The constant search for something more
Deprived me of the dearest assets
The ones you often take for granted
A knowledge of my place in this world
An inner peace
You are easy to understand
Not torn by endless questions
i love that about you admire it too
There's something stoically gallant about that
Even as i write that i laugh
For i cannot escape my nature
And although you will never understand me
Or approve of me for being the trouble maker
The conceited freak
Who dares to attempt to rock your steady boat
For the hell of it
i now approve of you
Even as you cast me out
For you must
i know i am dangerous to your ways
You fear me and so you should
But know this before you complain
About your uneventful life
You don't know what loneliness is
You cannot fathom the essence of despair
Do it quickly before i change my mind
And spoil the party
Be done with me
i am not interesting
There is nothing to gain here for you
Ah to be the cow in the pasture
To be the blind man grasping an elephant's tail
To only have three dimensional awareness
To never ask why an order is given
Or who gives it
Or why it must be followed
Be done with me i say
Before i say too much
i am your disease
You are my cure