Your Sugar Sits Untouched

Today in the courtyard sitting tied in many skirts,
I sat waiting for you to have some tea with me.
We always sit together and talk about our days,
no matter what the day may bring, rain clouds
or sunshine rays. I hold my fan slightly from my face,
like all of the ladies of my class do if to be flirtatious
or to keep themselves cool.
I like to hide myself behind my fan,
from this world that I have been forced to live in.
I always thought that I was ahead of my time,
not suppose to live in this life.
Where I must wait and obey until I become someone's wife.
And then I will walk behind my husband,
like a dog on leash for this prison of my life,
there doth be no key. But for now I am me,
a simple dame having some tea,
waiting for you to appear like a
ghost in the winter's frost.
But as I wait and I wait your tea soon turns cold,
and your sugar today sits untouched.
But you are always here,
are you not? With me,
together my only friend?
Where did you go?
Did you forsaken me and went your way,
within my wishing heart
I could have begged you to stay.
I think about this as a tear falls onto my lap,
you are not there to wipe it away.
No one is here today.
This life that I have lived was always dull
and gray but you always gave me a hope to stay.
But in this world, you are gone and now I have nothing.
I wish to see you again but will you want to see me too.
Why would you leave when to me your love was proclaimed?
And I stare and wait for you to arrive,
I know in my heart
you are not coming is the final push of the knife.
You were all I needed in this life and in the next.
I wish I could say I saw this coming,
but I can find the reasoning,
in my mind you were the best.
But now here I am alone and still all that matters is him,
and nothing can replace the love that I doth never know.
No more tea parties, and no more balls,
just me locked in my room alone with no one there.
It doesn't matter no one will care,
I am nothing but a shadow on the wall.
Abandoned by most people I know,
close to them all.
And as I sat in the garden again today
I thought of the day that reappears like a whispered hush,
that is the day that like even today,
your sugar sits untouched.