Suicide

I pick up the knife,
but I just wasn't able to push it in deep.
Then I found a bottle of pills.
I thought these can't kill,
there meant to heal.
So I just dug in them deep pulled out alot,
then I thought man.. I better not...
but I swallowed them all.
Then I thought to myself this wont hurt.
This is a much easier way to go,
but I didn't know how bad it would hurt.
Until I woke up 3 days later in a hospital gown,
and then I saw my mom frown with disappointment on her face.
Wow I didn't win the race of death.
I thought my life is a mess.
Now im on suicide watch.
What was I thinking there is other ways to make the pain go away.
I wasn't ready to die.
Thank you god for not takeing me away from my family and this, place i call home.