deepundergroundpoetry.com
A beautiful drive
The wheel clinched tight
Fingers numb and white
Hyperventilating
Counting to ten
Anxieties curse
Mind, a devine quality
Over....
Thinking
A flash of death as her passengers lay lifeless
Death
She pictures faces
A bloody mess
Stillness
Everyone sits singing and unblemished
A true definition of mangled point of view
A routine her mind has provided
Someone else hits the petal accelerating
She is familiar with picturing the world dying
She is now stamped with, "I'm part of the fucked up society"
Stay clear
She is endearing
The tea cup world believes she is dangerous
Fingers numb and white
Hyperventilating
Counting to ten
Anxieties curse
Mind, a devine quality
Over....
Thinking
A flash of death as her passengers lay lifeless
Death
She pictures faces
A bloody mess
Stillness
Everyone sits singing and unblemished
A true definition of mangled point of view
A routine her mind has provided
Someone else hits the petal accelerating
She is familiar with picturing the world dying
She is now stamped with, "I'm part of the fucked up society"
Stay clear
She is endearing
The tea cup world believes she is dangerous
Published 12th Jun 2016
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The author encourages honest critique.
13th Jun 2016 2:36pm
Really loved the amount of imagery in this write Kara great job
My only two suggestions would be maybe you could have played around with the layout a little more...kept some lines together and separated others instead of having the entire write divided up. Also, (and maybe this is just me) but it feels as though this write may be better suited for the "Dark Poems" category.
Overall though, very solid write, keep it up
Cheers,
19xx
My only two suggestions would be maybe you could have played around with the layout a little more...kept some lines together and separated others instead of having the entire write divided up. Also, (and maybe this is just me) but it feels as though this write may be better suited for the "Dark Poems" category.
Overall though, very solid write, keep it up
Cheers,
19xx
17th Jun 2016 2:49am
Thank you for your suggestion. Funny thing is I originally had it in a different format, this one just spoke to me more. Glad you enjoyed it!!
