Tell you a story...?

There once was a boy,
Who would rather read a book, than play with toys...
He read so many books, ones about science, history
And anatomy,
Then he read one tale, of a love so strong it could make time stop, and change the weather...
He didn't know any better...
He continued to read, as he got older,
But he soon found out the world was much colder
When it comes to people
He hated himself, he hated the world
He even hated the people
That gave him life,
Not that they treated him wrong,
But one of them was already gone,
And the boy didn't know why
He felt betrayed by the books he once loved,
He stopped reading,
They had made him believe in something that didn't exist,
He had begun to wish he didn't
The world was not a mystical place with forests and beauty
But cold and lonely
And full of hate
One day he had a complete break
He was only seven,
But charged at his own mother with an axe, at least even,
with his own height and a third  his weight
At full speed he ran
But luckily someone else did too, and stopped him, before he became one of the damned
He went to the hospital, was caged there for three weeks, drugged to keep him from fighting,
Kicking biting and scratching,
He felt like they were punishing
Him for believing in something more,
He felt like everything was his fault,
He wanted to end it all...
He went on like that for nearly 12 years after
Avoiding the urge to harm himself, he was too afraid,
But one day, when he was a young man,
The fear went away
And he tried to make everything else go with it,
He had times that weren't so bad
But they never seemed to last
So he fired and heard the gun blast,
But his ears continued ringing,
His nose and mouth were bleeding,
But he was still standing. .. He screamed and spitted
And nearly tried
To try again
But deep inside,
He never wanted to die,
He never wanted to make his mother cry
He couldn't deny
Thinking back,
He had done it a few times
And he knew he didn't want to try
He went to the ambulance when it arrived
It took a little while
But he seemed to be fine,
Besides the blood,
He had been so numb for far too long
He could feel nothing but pain and rage
But now it was strange
He felt the rain as he walked,
He tasted the blood in his mouth, heard the noise of the cops engines
And heard the medics voice
He could feel everything
But pain...
He knew he was going to be ok,
He thought back to the books he once read,
And then he was glad
He wasn't dead
The world isn't so bad
He said
It has its issues
But so does everything
Imperfection is perfection
There could be no other way,
If everything was orderly
Life would be boringly
Gray
So now I say, that boy was me,
And I now know
The books were right, those things exist, though they are rare, beauty and love, and happiness exist,  and you can find them, you just have to look
And be willing to accept even the tiniest gift.
As beautiful
I give you the gift of knowing my story,
I hope you like it