Purge

The time I needed you the most you were not there
When I think about it; that shit is epic and hurts me to my soul because I thought a Fathers love would outweigh any differences
Yet still I learned to understand no one is perfect
And still that hurts..
I tried numerous time to reach perfection
And never got close ..
Honestly I think I am having issues with not being able to obtain that state ( crazy you may say) hence this is a battle
My thoughts race and I tend to hold things inside
Then when I'm ready I unload and it's like a wrecking ball and I leave everyone silent
I'm afraid that my kindness
Is always being taken for weakness
And my love
Thrown back in my face
Yet still I love harder
My friends all tell me they love me
For me
And I smile at them
Swallowing my shot and say
Please pour me another
Her phone goes off and she sees I glanced down ..  Him ..
My fist abruptly met her face
I guess she thinks I'm stupid
...
Yet still I forgave..
Moral of the purge is
No matter what I promise myself to always love and forgive.. It takes so much energy to be angry ( in a world where we have to continually fight) .. I don't want to exercise those rights under temporary circumstances ~