Turpentine Smile

After you left I felt lighter
After I took that lighter to your paintings I felt nauseous
Not so much because it was yours
It was because it was art. Hope trapped in color.
I laid melting into the grass watching as smoke woven memories rose high enough
for the wind to carry them into oblivion
I struggled to figure out if this was a mistake
I tend to confuse self control with letting go
And mistake liberation for for starting over
Which coincidently looks a lot like work
Fast forward a few weeks
I'm still showing up for life
Making due with a mixture of what I got and God given talent
I often pass by that lawn filled outline of a body that's no longer there
Dodging acrylic and canvas residue- I accept that it will be this way for awhile.
Yet every time I pass, all I can think is this is where I was reborn