(33) The Lingering Memory 12.31.23 @ 12:42pm

Too many years have gone by;
Since we encountered each other.
I miss you deeply.
I wasn’t perfect, nor will I ever be.

You accepted that.
Too self involved to realize all that you’ve done.
My heart gushes in regret.
These memories play back daily, recall.

You made me feel superior, king worthy.
I left you like it was nothing, for a nobody.
Your trap left an enduring bruise;
Self reflection all the while.

Your best-friend was in on your trap.
You decided to test my loyalty, for it I have failed.
After everything I made you live through.
You gave me one last chance to make it right.

Being deadly insecure, I didn’t bother with a response.
Realization came slow but late, you were the one & only.
I didn’t deserve you, nor would I ever.
Like a stab wound drenched in blood.

Never to be loved again.
It only gets worse.
Drunker than I ever was.
It all went downhill from this point.

You began ignoring my phone calls & my texts.
It hurts to this very day!
You were fed up & discarded me, I don’t blame you.
I brought this on myself.

With you, everything was like heaven.
Since we split;
Everyday’s a vivid nightmare.
I don’t know what love is anymore.

The conclusion is that nobody needs me.
I just want to be free from this misery.
Will I ever find love again?
Reality hits like a motherfucker.

For some, there’s no coming back.
Other’s die inside.
The rest sacrifice whatever’s left to see the night
I’m a dead man lurking under the moonlight.

Dwelling on the past, like a broken record.
It kills me knowing you’re doing just fine without me.
I admire how you got over us.
You’re forever gone now.

Lonesome and pathetic.
Intoxicated & delusional;
Wondering if you’ll ever come back.
You’re a Lingering Memory.

I’m a waste of space.
I need to move on, forwards preferably.
Nothing else to it, that’s life.
Some come and go, some may decide to stay.

All we can do is continue with life.
Let go whatever resentment you may have.
Live for today, for tomorrow & the next.
Today was just part of your journey.