deepundergroundpoetry.com
Alive Once More
I am no longer lost,
now that I have you I can breathe again,
feel again, live again.
Everything used to go by slowly,
making me miserable before,
but now that I have you, everything is colorful.
Your smile shines bright like the sun,
your eyes bring warmth to my heart, my soul,
your voice is sweet music to my ears, mesmerising.
You are everything I have wanted, craved.
Stay by my side and whisper those sweet words, "I love you darling."
I am eternally yours.
now that I have you I can breathe again,
feel again, live again.
Everything used to go by slowly,
making me miserable before,
but now that I have you, everything is colorful.
Your smile shines bright like the sun,
your eyes bring warmth to my heart, my soul,
your voice is sweet music to my ears, mesmerising.
You are everything I have wanted, craved.
Stay by my side and whisper those sweet words, "I love you darling."
I am eternally yours.
Published 5th Jul 2011
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The author encourages honest critique.
5th Jul 2011 6:21am
Like the idea you have here but to be honest I feel like I've seen this poem before. Try using more inventive and metaphorical words, think outside the box, compare your heart to a tire-iron, something odd, new. I think you did a fair job, it's hard sometimes to get your point across, I know how you feel, just use all tools. You'll get there. :)
10th Jul 2011 00:51am
5th Jul 2011 10:55am
10th Jul 2011 00:55am
