BACKWARDS TRANSLATION USED ON A HAIKU

 
BACKWARDS TRANSLATION.  My favourite poems are ancient and foreign. Consequently, for many years now, I have had to rely on translations of beautiful Greek, Japanese, and Chinese Poetry.  I understand how inaccurate translation is and I am trying to develop a new method of “backwards translation”. I have written a Haiku in English. It is a Haiku in meaning. I don’t believe that a Haiku needs to keep to all the rules (of a Japanese haiku) when it is written in English-the languages are too different to have to restrict oneself to a particular number of syllables-which, anyway, adds nothing to the work in English. I do try to depict a season, try to keep to three lines, and I try to have a depth to the poem. By depth, I mean in the way I write about nature or about a particular Zen topic.
I have found a helpful Japanese Translator on the Japan UK LIVE website (an excellent website set up to allow School pupils from Japanese and English speaking Schools to write to each other). One of the Japanese contributors kindly translated my poem into the original language i.e. who “back translated” the poem into Japanese. The finished work is an accurate Haiku in English (no loss in translation) and has a Japanese “original” which will serve the purpose of letting the reader or audience hear the language that Haiku are usually written in. Some poets (e.g. some Gaelic poets) say that you should not translate from their language into English. Whatever the faults in the translation process, if there were no translations, then many of the world’s greatest books would be unknown to most of the world.
I used to make translations of poetry from languages I didn’t know by reading an exact literal translation of the poem as well as many “poetic” translations. And then trying to understand what the poet meant, before making up my own translation. For two years I studied Japanese at night Classes and for two years I studied Gaelic at night Classes. I have been involved in many cross cultural and cross language projects.
I intend doing “backwards translation” with other languages and poetic forms. I recommend it to others poets to try out. I believe it is an excellent tool and helps the audience and writer to have a better understanding of the poems “original” language i.e. the language such a poem would normally be written in.
The poem below was written as I sat in meditation in a local park. I saw shadows moving about around my feet and it seemed that the wind blew these about.


The Wind Blows
A HAIKU (TYPE) POEM


The wind blows the shadows
So hard, that the leaves fall
From the trees










Mr M. Matsumoto then composed a haiku in Japanese based on my English haiku –

木漏れ日を
乱して吹く風
若葉散る

Literally-

Sunlight filters through,
A disruptive wind comes,
New leaves fall


M. Matsumoto from Amaji Elementary School in Ichikawa then also gave the poem in romaji (romaji is a phonetic rendering of Japanese characters)-so it could be read phonetically by an English speaking reader, or read out at a poetry night.–


Komorebi wo
Midashite fukukaze
Wakaba chiru


He added, In Haiku, you need to use 'seasonal words' ['kigo' in Japanese] that express the time of year. I imagined the scene as early summer, so my seasonal word is 'wakaba' (young leaves). With "The wind blows the shadows" I sense these are shadows cast by the light filtering through the trees - we have a word for this in Japanese which I have used - 'komore-bi'. I took the wind as being wind strong enough to make the leaves fall.


Thanks to M. Matsumoto for the (what I call) “backwards translation” and to Japan UK Live website for hosting such a valuable communication link.