Surely I Caused My Own Problems

I'm a thin line between failure and a person.
I've learned tonight,
To keep this mouth shut tight.

Shhh. They don't want to hear.
Shhh. They don't want to listen.

Swallow that fear,
That he'll speak to you,
That he'll touch you,
That you'll say no,
But it happens anyway.

It seems tonight,
My enemy is invisible,
And I don't know how to fight.

Someone tell me why,
This has happened to me.

Why can I no longer see,
All the colors that you see?
Something just isn't right.
But tonight I hold my tongue.
There's no enemy to fight,

But me.

This trembling fear,
Is more than I can bare.
What I'm up against?

I'm shaking just from knowing,
He's in the other room.

Lip biting,
Hidden crying.
Sharpie on skin.
My reason's paper thin.
Help me.

Before it snaps.