My friend,misery

I'll throw away the cure  
just so this feeling never dies...  
It's real..I know it...  
The first time in my life,  
I've been truly alive  
and it's killing me.  
I'll throw my heart into a void  
in hopes it finds a recipient...  
a blurb of soul..
to combat indifference  
and misery..is that friend that
just won't go home
until you stop feeding him.  
So we'll stay in this cabin,  
this comfort of madness.  
A life of nothing...just hard work  
and absolute nonsense.  
I want to retire here.  
I'll write you letters
drenched in playful nuance and imagery.  
Please send some post cards to me...  
It gets lonely.