deepundergroundpoetry.com
no one owns this shit but me
no one owns this shit but me
took every step that got me here
casting every curse there will ever be
causing every cut and accepting every fear
then or now, no one’s to blame
I'm sure we all did our best
we're all just crazy, all the same
none of us will pass that test
before I put my next foot down
and before I walk the fuck away
this time I won’t play the clown
in this shit is where I'll stay
waist deep, let the shitty river flow
I know there’s nothing left to feel
but her complete destruction when I go
hoping she’ll have time enough to heal
worth every drop to get us free
from this loving hate, let's be clear
no one owns this shit but me
took every step that got me here
Published 18th Jan 2016
| Edited 2nd Feb 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
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The author encourages honest critique.
19th Jan 2016 7:28am
The most fascinating aspect is you transfer the subject from a position of being alone to companionship at the conclusion. What the "destruction" looks like sparks my curiousity.
19th Jan 2016 10:38am
Thanks... in this case... I wouldn't say "curiosity..." but I would want to move through whatever "destruction" ends up like... to get to the other side...
Thanks for the comment and the like
Thanks for the comment and the like
25th Jan 2016 9:55pm
I get determination from this, like a Stephen Donaldson giant wading through some fluid of death
very, very nice and I'd wish you luck getting there, but don't reckon you need it
very, very nice and I'd wish you luck getting there, but don't reckon you need it
26th Jan 2016 10:42am
thanks for the comment and the follow... I am moving through it right now... so I also appreciate the well wishes...
geoff
geoff
"No one owns this shit but me" exactly..
Underneath my pores you have
crawled, I hope you're snuggly
in them.
that damn spiritual noose.. ughh
-Howlings
Underneath my pores you have
crawled, I hope you're snuggly
in them.
that damn spiritual noose.. ughh
-Howlings
1st Feb 2016 3:39am
YEP!
I keep having to remind myself,
these were my decisions,
now I get to live the consequences...
Yippie!
thanks for the comment...
I keep having to remind myself,
these were my decisions,
now I get to live the consequences...
Yippie!
thanks for the comment...
2nd Feb 2016 3:24am
1st Feb 2016 11:16pm
i'm not a huge fan of anger poems usually, and the rhyming ones seem especially worn and cliche... but somehow, here, i got neither a stomping child vibe nor a slit-the-wrist drama! the "in the shit I'm going to stay" line felt a little out of place, but that may be because i have a thing about the Yoda-esque (unless it's for comedic effect). just feels a little forced where the rest of the poem, cussin' and all, reads much better. [:
i really like that first stanza, and the bulk of the third... the message i got was your taking responsibility and not letting yourself be a victim. it can only get better from there, mate; that's big-kid stuff. sally forth and tally ho! on to the next one. [:
i really like that first stanza, and the bulk of the third... the message i got was your taking responsibility and not letting yourself be a victim. it can only get better from there, mate; that's big-kid stuff. sally forth and tally ho! on to the next one. [:
2nd Feb 2016 2:10am
Hey, thanks for the note... I changed the line to read a bit more natural...
Yes and that is the meaning... stop being a victim...
Thanks for the comment...
Yes and that is the meaning... stop being a victim...
Thanks for the comment...
