deepundergroundpoetry.com
No one calls
When I wake to a dreary day, I know already it will be the same. I walk downstairs and hunt all day for a job that pays a decent wage. I send out send out cvs and applications, to every office in this whole damned nation
But alas, no one calls.
I search the papers I ring up reed but they tell me there is no job for me. So I raid my penny jar in the hope of affording even a chocolate bar. I call in favours from old friends.
But alas, another dead end.
Why did I do that useless degree? I say hating myself so violently.
The writing is how I find my release, the only way I get some peace.
But alas, no one calls.
I search the papers I ring up reed but they tell me there is no job for me. So I raid my penny jar in the hope of affording even a chocolate bar. I call in favours from old friends.
But alas, another dead end.
Why did I do that useless degree? I say hating myself so violently.
The writing is how I find my release, the only way I get some peace.
Published 22nd Jun 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
23rd Jun 2011 1:36pm
I really hate to be "that guy" but for my poem Citrus x Paradisi, you wrote: "Right the main issue is that that the format of the poem changes at the end which is unprofessional."
Does that not apply here? If it doesn't then I don't understand your comment in relation to my poem.
For an honest criticism of this poem, I found the first line of the first two stanzas much too long. However, I noted on your blog you posted the very same poem and the format of those first two stanzas is different, with the lines broken apart (which is much better). So is it just a case of the formatting being screwed here?
For another critique, I'd really like to feel more from the poem, the desperation and despair. I think many of us have been there, unable to find employment, and it's not a nice feeling at all.
Otherwise though I think you've done a good job to capture the basic essence of the searching for employment dilemma.
Does that not apply here? If it doesn't then I don't understand your comment in relation to my poem.
For an honest criticism of this poem, I found the first line of the first two stanzas much too long. However, I noted on your blog you posted the very same poem and the format of those first two stanzas is different, with the lines broken apart (which is much better). So is it just a case of the formatting being screwed here?
For another critique, I'd really like to feel more from the poem, the desperation and despair. I think many of us have been there, unable to find employment, and it's not a nice feeling at all.
Otherwise though I think you've done a good job to capture the basic essence of the searching for employment dilemma.
2nd Jul 2011 5:47pm
there is a bit of an issue with the formatting on deep underground poetry. stuff aint coming out like I want. the poem is also available on my blog. that is the formatting I wanted for it
http://joseph-turner.blogspot.com/2011_06_01_archive.html
http://joseph-turner.blogspot.com/2011_06_01_archive.html
