deepundergroundpoetry.com
The neighbor
My neighbor; who's very kind and sweet
confessed to me; I am her fantasy she wants to taste me
I never entertained intertwining with another girl before
Something about her confession makes me wonder things I never have
She has the most beautiful brown skin and full lips
She has an ass for days and nice flowing hips
We took our weekly run and she grabbed my breast
I slapped her hand aggressively; my patience do not test
I caught her off guard and we continued on our run
My nipples was surprisingly very erect; what in the world have I
become
She came over to apologize for her earlier actions
Little did she know, there was no need to give a retraction [/font]I snatched her ass into my place,
to give her my luscious tongue to taste
[/font]Unable to control this monster
called desire, buttons from her shirt were everywhere
[/font]the lacy bra, that housed those beautiful breasts needed escape, they're free to my warm lips to draw circles with my tongue
[/font]She's moaning and I have hardly done anything to her just yetThis will be a night she will never forget or will it?
[/font]I picked her ass up with ease;
spread her legs open, sticking out my tongue to tease
[/font]Better yet, I will be pleased, lay back and close your eyes stick out your tongueBrace yourself for this wet, awaiting surprise of my wet flower straddling your face
[/font]No longer do I see her pretty lips but I feel her skilled tongue and can hear her suckle my pussy, as she held me by the waist, moans escape so loudly, I can not run
[/font]Savoring me like the last meal she will ever haveMy ass is now what she grabs
[/font]I have no idea what she is mumbling, but it's bringing me faster to orgasmic pleasureHer tongue is deep inside my cave like searching for lost treasure
[/font]She knows the treasure is not inside but outside, alas the pearl is foundThe moaning, swallowing my love juices, all kinds of passionate sounds
[/font]I can no longer contain my liquid treasure, I cried out I can't hold back what's to cumWhen she pinched my nipples, the tsunami erupted and washed her beautiful face and hair and I felt she was being selfish for savoring it all and not sharing
[/font]Sit up and kiss me girl, hmmmm I
do taste sweet.
[/font]See you tomorrow for our run
[/font]
confessed to me; I am her fantasy she wants to taste me
I never entertained intertwining with another girl before
Something about her confession makes me wonder things I never have
She has the most beautiful brown skin and full lips
She has an ass for days and nice flowing hips
We took our weekly run and she grabbed my breast
I slapped her hand aggressively; my patience do not test
I caught her off guard and we continued on our run
My nipples was surprisingly very erect; what in the world have I
become
She came over to apologize for her earlier actions
Little did she know, there was no need to give a retraction [/font]I snatched her ass into my place,
to give her my luscious tongue to taste
[/font]Unable to control this monster
called desire, buttons from her shirt were everywhere
[/font]the lacy bra, that housed those beautiful breasts needed escape, they're free to my warm lips to draw circles with my tongue
[/font]She's moaning and I have hardly done anything to her just yetThis will be a night she will never forget or will it?
[/font]I picked her ass up with ease;
spread her legs open, sticking out my tongue to tease
[/font]Better yet, I will be pleased, lay back and close your eyes stick out your tongueBrace yourself for this wet, awaiting surprise of my wet flower straddling your face
[/font]No longer do I see her pretty lips but I feel her skilled tongue and can hear her suckle my pussy, as she held me by the waist, moans escape so loudly, I can not run
[/font]Savoring me like the last meal she will ever haveMy ass is now what she grabs
[/font]I have no idea what she is mumbling, but it's bringing me faster to orgasmic pleasureHer tongue is deep inside my cave like searching for lost treasure
[/font]She knows the treasure is not inside but outside, alas the pearl is foundThe moaning, swallowing my love juices, all kinds of passionate sounds
[/font]I can no longer contain my liquid treasure, I cried out I can't hold back what's to cumWhen she pinched my nipples, the tsunami erupted and washed her beautiful face and hair and I felt she was being selfish for savoring it all and not sharing
[/font]Sit up and kiss me girl, hmmmm I
do taste sweet.
[/font]See you tomorrow for our run
[/font]
Published 17th Jun 2011
| Edited 24th Jul 2011
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19th Jun 2011 00:55am
9th Jul 2011 2:51am
19th Jun 2011 5:40am
9th Jul 2011 2:51am
24th Jun 2011 2:38am
9th Jul 2011 2:52am
13th Jul 2011 9:31am
13th Jul 2011 4:37pm
Anonymous
23rd Jul 2011 6:10am
HI, Kym!
A typo in L1 'whose' should be the contraction *who's*. You also don't need the semicolon between 'neighbor' and 'who's'. A comma is more grammatically correct. You need to end your second line with a period. I only see one period in the entire piece.
I like your story and the way you let it unfold, but I feel it would be more effective if you pared it back a bit. This is prose - it reads as if you were speaking. Poetry needs to be a little more structured, with a definitive rhythm and good pacing. Pay attention to sonics and a few strong descriptive words. Show your audience instead of telling them.
Rhyming tends to hold people back. There are a finite number of words in the English language that rhyme, so you are automatically restricted with words you can use.
A typo in L1 'whose' should be the contraction *who's*. You also don't need the semicolon between 'neighbor' and 'who's'. A comma is more grammatically correct. You need to end your second line with a period. I only see one period in the entire piece.
I like your story and the way you let it unfold, but I feel it would be more effective if you pared it back a bit. This is prose - it reads as if you were speaking. Poetry needs to be a little more structured, with a definitive rhythm and good pacing. Pay attention to sonics and a few strong descriptive words. Show your audience instead of telling them.
Rhyming tends to hold people back. There are a finite number of words in the English language that rhyme, so you are automatically restricted with words you can use.
30th Jul 2011 2:42am
12th Oct 2011 00:12am
12th Oct 2011 4:19am
