Lost with no control

I'm just a youngin' ,
But in my mind I'm growing so old .
Never had , no childhood ,
My hearts being growin' cold.
Just a youngin'  with no aspirations , no hopes or goals.
When I met you I was looking for something to take me in cause I was low , shit done stole my soul.
So you should spark up another bowl , let it melt   take it an and roll the bowl ,
Shit I've lost all hope.
" imma try it once & imma let it go " , said that shit four months ago .
Just waiting on a lethal dose , wishin death would just take me home.
I need to smoke some more ,
were is my self control?
So young , but my mentality is so grown. Raised by mama, but did it on my own.
Who the fuck have I Become , when I'm low were the fuck am I supposed to run ?
This was just supposed to be stupid fun .
Not sleepin till I see the sun .
" I swear I'm quitting soon"
The down just hit and its only noon.
I just smoke some more untill I feel alright .
I'm feeling dead , but this will bring me back to life.
" but , I swear I'll quit tonight "
Addiction isn't letting go
You fill the emptiness, when I'm alone. I keep on smokin till I'm sure your gone.
DamnI made so many promises , saying I'd never fuck with this.
I got some niggas trynna win my heart, I dont have have one , but I'll play the part.
Love my dad, but the devil done tought me more .
Stealin , and some shit i ain't done before .
All so I can smoke up with the homie more .
You'll pick m up untill,
I'm buried down .
You'll have my back , untill ,
I'm lifeless, six feet under ground.