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The new house

I buy a house at quite a bargain  
The estate agent seems quite happy that she sold the house  
She seems happy
almost too happy  
Behind my back she whispers "sucker"  
Behind her back I whisper "sucker"  
 
Night no 1  
Seems like a great home  
It needs a little DIY  
But not too  
What a day buying this house at quite a bargain  
Off to bed I go  
 
9pm  
I hear the sounds  
drip...drip  
drip...drip  
drip...drip  
I tightly twist all the taps from the  
Bath  
Zink  
Basements  
and then go back to bed  
 
10pm  
A new smell occurs  
Sneaking it's way into my nostrils  
and waking me up  
The smell of rotting corpses  
I check the whole house all seems fine  
I find my little box tv and watch a movie  
 
11pm  
The movie is at its climax  
Showering the screen with bullets  
and the people are all still alive  
Sure  
Blood starts leaking down the walls  
Now I know why I got such a place at a bargain  
 
11:15pm  
I grab a hammer  
and start breaking up the wall behind  
behind the tv  
Here's what I discover  
Body parts  
Arms  
Legs  
Heads  
Eyes  
 
11:30pm  
I tear up a second wall  
Same story  
I call the estate agent  
asking "Why are there body parts in the walls"  
She replies "Oh didn't you know these people were cannibals"  
 
I stay awake for the rest of the night  
The next day I give the walls new wallpaper  
It looks great  
and then I sell it again
Written by highwaytohell (Greg)
Published | Edited 5th Oct 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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