This Hurt

I loved someone once, this you already know,
Feelings drove me to the depths of agony and woe,
Left me with a gaping hole in my chest,
And a million questions that refused me rest.

Pain, this nightmare driving me insane,
The same sad story all over again...

Hating myself, hating my own thoughts, my mind,
Hating this uncertainty, stumbling around blind,
Looking for shelter, for somewhere to hide,
But the worst place to run is my own head, inside.

Fear, this horror driving me to the brink,
This same sad story... I can't even think...

"Why!?" I scream at you, oh benevolent one,
"Do my tears bring you some measure of fun!?"
"The lord, Almighty God"... I'm down on my knees...
"Tell me why you've made love into such an accursed tease!"

Doubt, this corruption seeps into me,
This sad story again... "Won't you just let me be!?"

The questions resound in my mind once more,
With them come answers that I can't help but abhor,
Too many versions where Sorrow comes to greet,
Too many versions where it's just another cycle... complete.

Déjà-vu, I've been right here before,
The tragic ending... perhaps I should have foresaw.

And when it's over, is it done?
No, not unless I take up the gun,
Place the barrel gently against my head,
But it will end, once I am finally dead.

Pulls the trigger, one painful, sweet, kiss,
This sad story, this pain, not a second of it shall I miss.