deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Lie I tell myself
Every time we're together
I accept what little you offer
greedily absorbing it
Like an addict getting my fix
Never asking for more but hoping and praying,
O God! How I pray!
And I give everything I have to give
never expecting to get more.
I know that each time is a test
You use my body for your pleasure
Pressing my boundaries
Hoping I might say no
Waiting for an excuse
To end it all
To say that nothing has changed
I am still not enough
you can keep testing me,
pushing me,using me…
Hoping, I'm sure
for the opening you think
I will give you
to back away
But with you I have no boundaries
I will never say no again
I have no other options
My fate have been decided
I belong to you...
every time we come together
I know that it might be the last time
I might experience a measure of bliss
So I will never say no
Or deny you my body
Because even if you
cannot offer me love
I can still pretend in that
split second of heaven
that you may love me still...
And in that split second
I truly believe the lie I tell myself...
I accept what little you offer
greedily absorbing it
Like an addict getting my fix
Never asking for more but hoping and praying,
O God! How I pray!
And I give everything I have to give
never expecting to get more.
I know that each time is a test
You use my body for your pleasure
Pressing my boundaries
Hoping I might say no
Waiting for an excuse
To end it all
To say that nothing has changed
I am still not enough
you can keep testing me,
pushing me,using me…
Hoping, I'm sure
for the opening you think
I will give you
to back away
But with you I have no boundaries
I will never say no again
I have no other options
My fate have been decided
I belong to you...
every time we come together
I know that it might be the last time
I might experience a measure of bliss
So I will never say no
Or deny you my body
Because even if you
cannot offer me love
I can still pretend in that
split second of heaven
that you may love me still...
And in that split second
I truly believe the lie I tell myself...
Published 12th Jun 2011
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likes 3
reading list entries 2
comments 4
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The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
19th Mar 2012 00:59am
This poem is an excellent deconstruction of what people do when they want love but they are giving sex......The ending of the poem says it all....
This lack of boundaries in love makes the breakups so painful....I never realized that before I read your poem....but you noticed it and that is very astute....Excellent psychological insight into the psychology of love!!!!!
Kitty
This lack of boundaries in love makes the breakups so painful....I never realized that before I read your poem....but you noticed it and that is very astute....Excellent psychological insight into the psychology of love!!!!!
Kitty
27th May 2013 8:42pm
Thank you so much for your reply. I wrote from the heart not really thinking deeper than what I felt at that moment in time. Didn't get any feedback on it for a long time but felt that I had to publish. It is a step further in the right direction. Thank you for reading it and giving feedback!
11th Jan 2013 7:50pm
Random poet button brought me here and so glad it did
Heartfelt in its emotion
You delivered on every line
I wish i could write like this. I loved it
Heartfelt in its emotion
You delivered on every line
I wish i could write like this. I loved it
27th May 2013 8:44pm
I only write when I am at extremes. delirious with happiness, wanting to die from pain... It works for me. Thank you so much for your kind words...
