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caddying ball bags at the Haiku Erotic Restaurant Golf Tournament
women retrieve balls
suck, swivel them lovingly
kiss bag for good luck
The women say they prefer the balls over Milk Duds or Malted Milk Balls. Better leverage inside their mouths and that special indefinable taste you don't get anywhere but in the bags. They love it when the clubs swing into action and aim for the prize hole! Many an "I got it! Another ace in the hole!" rang out loudly against the high ceiling of our hallowed dining hall that evening! Even our very elderly patrons proclaimed, "I got it! oops! Mark it a Birdie." One luscious woman asked me why I hadn't invited Tiger Woods. "I sincerely desire to caddy his balls," she said, breathlessly. Well, I can't arrange for everything I told her. But I reminded her she just put a brand new sexual expression into the English language: "I desire to caddy his balls," by way of none other than candycrier himself and his Haiku Erotic Restaurant!
The first couple who made the hole without flubbing it received an all-expenses-paid 2 night stay at the Starlight Cuntry Club, a little known and illegal establishment north of Reno, Nevada.
suck, swivel them lovingly
kiss bag for good luck
The women say they prefer the balls over Milk Duds or Malted Milk Balls. Better leverage inside their mouths and that special indefinable taste you don't get anywhere but in the bags. They love it when the clubs swing into action and aim for the prize hole! Many an "I got it! Another ace in the hole!" rang out loudly against the high ceiling of our hallowed dining hall that evening! Even our very elderly patrons proclaimed, "I got it! oops! Mark it a Birdie." One luscious woman asked me why I hadn't invited Tiger Woods. "I sincerely desire to caddy his balls," she said, breathlessly. Well, I can't arrange for everything I told her. But I reminded her she just put a brand new sexual expression into the English language: "I desire to caddy his balls," by way of none other than candycrier himself and his Haiku Erotic Restaurant!
The first couple who made the hole without flubbing it received an all-expenses-paid 2 night stay at the Starlight Cuntry Club, a little known and illegal establishment north of Reno, Nevada.
Published 12th Sep 2015
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