In this moment

I must be a gruesome sight,
In the midst of my apathy
You must be disgusted to see me
Drowning in doubt and self pity  
You are cruel at times,
I'm down but you just keep hitting

We both fall short of admitting
How the bark always turns to a bite
In the moment we may think we're winning
But we are losing much more than the fight
We are dying
We always were from the start

I feel lonely...I desperately hoped to be happy
In this moment, I am not