My Only Best Friend

Sitting on my bed
I see a glint of metal
wink at me
from across the room.
The moon illuminates
the blade watching me,
calling me.
I cannot give in,
I won't give in.
My arms and legs have
shed too much blood,
are scarred beyond recognition.

But I want it,
I need it.
My heart races, my
soul aches.
Horror flashes across
my closed eyelids
like an eternal movie
playing in my head.
The blade will numb me,
will block the pictures
of things I cannot forget. 

It's always been there
for me, not once
abandoned or
forsaken me.
The blade is all I have;
it's all I can trust.
People always leave,
they always fuck me over. 
But the blade is always
my only best friend.