Soho Walkup

The indomitable rise of passion is swelling within my beer bloated stomach
and I know I should look at that picture of my girlfriend in my wallet
to warn me off the dangers of promiscuity
but I'm drunk

and all I can think about is pleasure
maybe I should masturbate to kill the urge
but I can hardly do that in the street
and the public toilets round here are full of homosexuals

so I head up those decrepit wooden stairs
into the pits of West London known as Soho walkups
where the thrills are almost as cheap as the bed linen

a sign on the first floor flat reads "Italian Model Ava"
but we all know she's as Italian as I'm faithful
she answers the door in bra and knickers
her bleached hair and sunken eyes indicate a crack head

I tell her I'm looking for a brunette and she tells me to go fuck myself
so I head upstairs to the next flat
which promises a busty blonde
my cock starts to throb

But the maid says I need to wait
old blondie big tits is busy with a client at the moment
so I sit down on an ancient armchair and watch TV with the maid
my cock starts to go soft

the sound of creaking bedsprings is polluting the air
and I ask the maid if the noise gets on her nerves
she shrugs and turns the TVs volume up
but I can still hear the punter's pathetic yelps

the TV is pretty crappy
all bulbous and straight out of the 90s
the content it's spewing out isn't much better

some crummy talk show
where the underclass of society wrestle with life
the guy on now's been sleeping around
maybe I'll end up on there one day

the bedrooms gone quiet
and the maid realises it's time for some work
she goes and pulls a curtain across the doorway
to disguise the departing punter

the front door closes with a bang
the maid drops the curtain
and there she is
all blonde and busty

facially she's nothing stunning
I doubt I could pull her in real life though
so it's good enough for me

she invites me into the bedroom with her crappy english
you won't find much decent english in Soho walkups

the bedroom's as bare as the girl's pussy
an old chest of drawers
a bed
and lube

money out the way she asks me to strip
and I willingly oblige

we're both nude now
if we were civilians
or I'd paid for a better class of girl
we'd be kissing now

on the shoestring budget of soho walkups, though, you go straight to head
which suits me fine

her heart's not in this blowjob
and her oesophagus definitely isn't

I tell her that I wanna fuck now
I'm not going down on her
you don't go down on Soho girls
ever

she assumes the doggy position
but I don't want that yet
"missionary" I ask her
and she flips over

she guides me in and I'm surprised that she keeps her eyes open
Soho girls usually shut their eyes and think of the Ukraine

her pussy's not tight
but I'm not going to judge her
she's probably seen 20 men today
plus all that lube creates a slippery illusion

her eyes are devoid of emotion
and it's really putting me off

So I tell her I want doggy
and the view of her arse is much less depressing

due to all the lube and my beer soaked brain I'm having trouble coming
I bang harder and harder
til I've got a stitch
but finally I come

she takes off the condom with a wetwipe
it's probably the most tender moment of the whole affair

there's some small talk as I get dressed
and then I'm back with the maid

the tv's still blaring out
that scumbag's still denying he cheats
that'll be me later on when I get home.