dentro

i puzzled by question why filthy atrocity evoke by folks no another velocity that passive curiousity?
***

dead, the long year
april...
too long...
deep underground...
aurelia...
***



 to demetri estdelacropolis, mark uralskij, brener and schurz, alina vituchnovskaja, alexei deshevoi, marc martin, joannes wilms




by the smugness you deride my thinest nerve
i was enamored with you, my notion to you was alike
"i wanna be your dog", different than by iggy pop.
i wished you joy. i profefer you all my assistance
from you i wanted learn, the strategies of resistence
since you intellectual, and can read staff like foucault and agamblen and i cannot.
but youare thosewho objected to sensentions,
there your tomb-stones.
my verses i send you never meant to be any art-farts
but bricks of the barricade of resistance
you slut-bellied obstructionists
you sworn foe for free speeachand good letters
you fungus, you are continual gangrene.
i borrowed the words by stevens, pound and artaud
because you cutt off my tongue.
yet yougave me a complimentthat my insult letter
on you make a lots sense! so meant guy debord!
Fuck debord. i am another situationist.
dwell in excruating grim situation.

for here in loony bin i have been filtered out, judged, whther i am one filthy misery or contrar one fucking wondrous artis, one
universal baby, kinda of fucking global chick!
One fellow sufferer said this bollocks directly to my blind brow, from confusion one cannot explode, but yesterday i did.
i swear you i am no mascot, i am another geistiger verführer,
stricktly for underground kids. i am no a baby universal!..No by no means it would ever be!..

i am exhausted and much tortured renegade from deepest underground und mein leben, mein "menschenleben" is nur agrer irrtum, eine heftige und missgeglückte Fehlgeburt der urmutter, ein wider und grausig fehlgescvhlagener versuch der natur.

i imagine to be only most unwanted, nameless, homeless, anonymous and suffering, only not approach no one of these exissting scenes!..but no ever to be notorious, NO MEANS NO. HIRO KONE!

i think black, and here the boy on the station, who wear t-shirt: black &squad"accuse me i stole his vallet, while reading the words on his back. O plaque! what yet i have stoled?
the skate or bike of which indie kid??..

me, who isnt woman, isnt man, but just severly injured animal, who explode of anger on People, people around me who hype me for fifty days to become "somebody".the most worst what could happento me, einem Steppenwolf, is a fame. for i am eager only for loniliness and independence, whileas my dreams are just bitter fate, fate, which is fabricated for me by you my amies fellow-artists, by my family, and finally by state, which persecuteme so tricksy, so mean, so filthy.

i am here lone damned nigger, who had boxes like mohammed alli, but who is captured so tight that there is no chance to break the chains!!..

I used to love you piglets! what have you done to me?
your books are gorgeous, so deplorable it is all is just invented lie. i never will learn the words of your lexicon like "practical sense" and "reasonable", yet i want prohibite you to write at all, for to not alienatesome deviant kids with your so fraudulantly honest voice.

my nerve meter trembling like outmost of shaking string.
from my misantropy to my yesteryears amies and for those criminals, i see around who i despise like castrats. there is no joke will pass from once your very clown. Only hate and despise!
HIRO KONE!

because my compassion is broken now
my will is croded.snd myx desire stolen and it makes me feel ugly.i am on my kneed and burning.my piss and moans are the fuel that set head on fire.so smell my soul burning.
I am broken looking up to see the enemy
i have swallowed poison you feed me..
but i survive on it.
ans it leaves me guilt fed. hatred fed. weakness fed.
and i feel ugly and
i dead inside.

shit adds up the bottom
You have left me no choice to go inside and rebuild what was broken.
too much, too far, too lateto lie down now
i must arm myself to fight you
by making weapons out of my imperfections.
its all i have left.
there is no another choice.
i am shameless, nameless, nothing, and noone now.
but my soul must be iron for my fear is naked. i am naked and fearless
but i am dead inside.
you see, shit adds up, now i am dead inside.
hatred, weakness and guilt keep me alive