Death's Bed Time Stories (collab)

I'm as old as I ever am
And as young as I ever will be.
But what am I doing with this life of mine?
I ask myself,
But all that comes out is a strangled choke
And a satisfied goodbye.
I'm not worth the air I breathe
Yet here I stand
With nothing underneath.
Am I dead yet?
I like to ask,
But only because I like the pain I feel
When I answer no.
I close my eyes,
Soaking in this open relationship
I favor with death.
But he never comes through
And takes me to hell,
Just makes me listen
To all the stories he can't tell.
So I listen to psalms of men eating their wives,
And mighty beasts taken down by butterflies.
I wear a pig mask, eating bread and butter,
Watching the pig people run my world.
And I know I'm a sheltered girl,
When I step outside protected
Only by a little, plastic, pink pig mask.
And I listen to Death's stories,
Pretending I don't understand the meanings
Behind each and every one.
Because if I feel the need to stab myself,
I just want to drown without feeling bad.