blood from inside love

I sit in this dark room
there is only darkness
the room is spinning
around and around and around
everything stops
except for my feelings
hatred and sadness
but still no love

feeling exhausted
feeling overwhelmed
feeling down and out
feelings of love are still gone

cold shivers run up my spine
as blood drips down my arm
have to cover the wounds
dont want anyone seeing them
for my feelings of love come from pain

the pain makes me alive
like someone actually cares
at least when they see my scars
is this for attention or some darker motive
for you at least pretend to give me love

the blood wont stop
it drips and starts to pour from the vein
have I done myself in this time
I sit there scared and lonely
is this what I really wanted
no its not I justed wanted u to love me