Beautiful terror

Loving you can be so hard sometimes when your complicated spirit get the best of you and even though I can hardly stand to be in your presence the things you evoke in me doesn't make it easy for my preference
Every time I try to flee you cast a magical bliss upon me
The very heart of mine is dying deep inside memories are blurred I can't remember why I love you but I can't imagine leaving you behind
I am suffering in the core of my bitter soul I just need a chance to let you go
I don't want to be your slave any more  
But I hate leaving you thats for sure
I was pulling away freeing myself then suddenly I felt you dragging me back into the black shadows that I fear so much but then you filled me up again and again till I couldn't remember why I tried to escape
Now am here again wrap in this black magic you call love suffocating cause there is no air above
But I cant fight any more I will just take what you have to offer a world full of beautiful terror