Venting About Lost Friendships

The best advice
I've ever received
Came from the lips of my brother
He told me;
The key to ultimate success
And ultimate happiness
Is in the elimination of negative forces surrounding my presence
What he neglected to mention
Was how difficult this process was
I spend nights
Begging on my knees for forgiveness
For being "too much"
My attitude was too much
My actions were too much
My presence was too much
I shrank myself to fit the little box of expectations
My friends had handed to me
Breaking free from that
Was the most liberating thing I've ever done
These people
Were my best friends
The closest people
Sometimes, you're too close to realize
The damage they're creating.
The wreckage I became to please them
Was an awful sight
I am more than that
Sure,
Im too loud
too crazy
too wild
too foolish
I love too fast
And forgive way too easily
I experiment with a lot
and have trouble saying 'no'
But I'll take too much over too little
Any day of my life.