This poem is called TO MY HUSBAND - LOVE HURTS

Why won't you love me? How is it you can't see? My heart keeps breaking My soul never stops aching
Why must you make your wife a whore? Fighting off your requests is a constant chore Why do you want me touching other men? If it weren't for my 3 babies, my life I would end
The garage door opens and my stomach aches For you are home and the horror you make Is the worst pain I have ever known' Please stop, please stop,' I moan
Little by little I lose me Until one day I can no longer see Who am I? How did I get here? In my home it is my husband I fear
I no longer cry, why should I? For no one hears me as I scream to the sky I no longer feel any emotions at all Please dear God 'help me' I call
I am empty, I am dead inside This nightmare is such a frightening ride' I love you Mary' is all I wanted you to tell But instead I am on a train to hell
You wake me up in the middle of the night To call some guy you picked up on an Internet site I have phone sex as you listen in I hate every second of it but I can't win
Cause when I don't do as you say Your anger is quick and torpedoed my way My spirit is so broken, surely you see? But it is always about you, never me
'Take off your panties and expose yourself' To the young bartender removing booze from a shelf' I can't, I don't want to' I beg Tonight I dodge a bullet, but know I will pay When we get back home, dare I say
As your wife I want to please you But what you ask of me I just can't do'Don't tell anyone our little secret' you say'All husbands want their wives to behave this way'
Dignity and respect is all that I long forBut the emotional and mental pain cuts to my coreI live for little crumbs of affection thrown my way But instead I feel pain and agony almost each day Power and control are an abuser's tools they say Why is it I don't stand up for myself, instead I stay
So broken down My voice completely gone No fight left in me For an abuser, a perfect place for you to be
Why do you treat me this horrible way? If only I was a better wife would you say?' Sweetheart I love you, let me hold you tight Allow me to hug you and make everything right'
Even though you never hit You are very twisted and sick To the outside world you are a great guy If only they knew it was all a lie
Your drug of choice is control Little do you care it is taking a tollI have become someone I do not know How did this happen, where did I go? My heart is demolished, my self-worth gone So many days I wonder if I can go on
If only I saw on the very first date Your heart and soul was so full of hate But this has nothing to do with meIt is you who is sick if only I could see
I am brokenI am lonely I am empty I am goneI am nobody I hate myself I want to laugh again I want to love again I want to be free again I want to be me again
Dear God, free me from this pain Make it go away like you do the rain I know you will lift me up when the time is right And until then I will love my babies and hold on tight.