its not you... its me

i ran away from you
i loved you for years
seven to be exact
i wanted love
i wanted see how it would end up
but all it did was end
i need clarity
clear my head from you
your body
your kisses
like firewoks
popping in my head
i wanted to stay
now i hold this bottle
of whiskey
in my hand
and a gun
laying on my table
debating on playing
a round of
Russian roulette
just to make
all this pain
run away like i wanted to
but are you worth it
all the tears
all this pain
i question myself
and then gently
pull the trigger