deepundergroundpoetry.com
a collection of short poems [2]
don't forget to breathe
I deny you
flooding my wounds with alcohol
feeling the sting of your infection
fading away
into denial
but you'll never let me go
holding on
with every aching breath
dish pig [self talk]
firstly
wash glasses
for a dazzling mirror shine
[you look pathetic]
scrub dishes
spotless
air dry
[broken against the wall]
lastly
the knife
carefully hold the blade
[against your neck]
my dad
a strong man
broken down
in the dark
at the bottom of the stairs
i descend
illuminating shadows
holding him in my arms
the fall
it's all in his head
These short poems were written for the comp "on depression".
Published 28th Dec 2014
| Edited 21st Jun 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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28th Dec 2014 11:04pm
23rd Mar 2015 11:09am
Mr Macloud, thank you for dropping by and leaving your thoughts, I appreciate it and apologise for my very late response.
Your short deliveries are amazing, to put in one word.hardhitting n the spacings create the necessary airs n tension. Loved all the three, the first being a piece that denies to go off from a reader..for long. The third piece with its last verse drives in a philosophy.
fixing the context in such micropoetry is a difficulty i feel, but such pieces of yours gives a winning way, if one is predisposed in its grasps:) tq fr sharing, Case.
fixing the context in such micropoetry is a difficulty i feel, but such pieces of yours gives a winning way, if one is predisposed in its grasps:) tq fr sharing, Case.
23rd Mar 2015 11:23am
Uma, thank you so much for your awesome comment. Writing short poems [or as you put it micropoetry] is difficult, but I do like the challenge to be concise. It's a great way for a writer to hone their skills.
I'm glad you liked the structure, some poets think it's not so important, but I find it essential for a poem to be read the way it was intended, as it can be used to determine the flow and also emphasise a word or airs in tension, as you pointed out.
Thanks again for your thoughts and I apologise for the late reply.
I'm glad you liked the structure, some poets think it's not so important, but I find it essential for a poem to be read the way it was intended, as it can be used to determine the flow and also emphasise a word or airs in tension, as you pointed out.
Thanks again for your thoughts and I apologise for the late reply.
