Decision point (Friday, 8 February 2013)

 at which point do you
stop dithering o'er reaching
for that which you want
so dearly that you forsake
all society demands
-
shall i embark on
the road which may yet claim my
life, integrity
hoping that he shares with me
whom i thought i shared with him
-
should i divorce her
she that has done me no wrong
free her to find love
the fires of true passion
she deserves to find love too
-
will i finish days
with children as your second
or dead, suit refused
as your husband takes your just
vengeance on my tortured soul
-
will i be the man
that i should always have been
yours in mind, body
as i have been in my soul
should never have made you leave
-
were i to make my
true intentions known, which first
would then have happened:
metal stiff against my head?
something else stiff in my hand?
-
or just let her play
with me occasionally
continue watching
lovingly dominating,
while i provide sweet soft love
-
an end to pain or
beginnings of joy, would her
lies o'er turn my truth
that i pledged to her all those
years ago, despite her lies
-
i have found that i
have room in my heart for her
and someone else or,
sadly, only room for her
those that made me choose all lost