depression

Most of you think depression as something sad  
and not what it really is.  
Depression is a lack of chemical in your brain  
called serotonin
Without the right amount of serotonin  
you become depressed.  
She knew for years  
she had depression  
but did nothing to try to get help.
 people don’t understand  
depression isn’t a choice.
“why would you have depression you have a great life”
 that might be true but
 you don’t know the things she has seen  
and you don’t know the things she went through.  
How could a girl  
get an award for smiling  
have depression?  
ask her the answer is  
she doesn’t know.  
She can try to explain what she thinks  
but in the end  
she really doesn’t know.  
A girl that has been bullied  
since third grade  
now in eleventh grade  
a girl who lost her grandmother on a cruise  
lost her grandfather on thanksgiving day  
her aunt to a heart attack  
her brother because of her friends brother took him
her second father when he wanted to help people.  
Yet and still  
she smiles  
not as much  
her parents can see  
but  
she still smiles  
still laughs  
still hangs with her friends  
still cares for others  
still thoughtful  
still puts others before her.  
Her friends don’t see that she is broken  
so are they really friends  
look at her Facebook she has five-thousand friends  
look at her Instagram she has over one thousand followers  
look at her like she has millions of people talking to her  
tell her she is beautiful and perfect.  
So why does she feel so alone?  
Go ahead ask her because she doesn’t know the answer to that either.  
Her mom calls her the miserable child  
because she spends all her time in her room  
and doesn’t smile as much as she used to.
 Her sister makes fun of her  
because she plays sports  
to keep her mind off  
all the bad things in her life.  
Her other sister makes fun of her  
because she is in small classes.