FIRST DRAFT, worth keeping? advice?

fetch from my mind stories old and gray about how the specters came to stay
and tell me in my waking dreams, something rotten lives it seems
the breath of men that did not breathe, crawled up my spine, to my ear it cleaves
and tells me horrors mind cannot conceive, but never did i think it to deceive.

but memory does, so never do i trust
that helpless child, that demon lust
the depth of glances, that pierce like fire
the boyish shrug of my shoulders in wonder
trimmed my soul to emaciation
until that glorious uniform of liberation!
the clothes that set my mind so free
imprisonment and subjection and poverty!
the track of life must quickly change
when demons lurk and watch for prey
and pray to below, scream, claw and tear
for someone like me to walk through their lair

but i conducted myself with poise through madness' wood
i can certainly say it was not the baddest time that i withstood  
my shifting mind can recall it all!
i remember times that allowed far deeper a fall...

and madness is weightless, it makes light of death
death is so dark and foreboding, but madness a mistress  
death shocks the world and puts birds to flight
the raven looks back with shady delight
and the landscape is bare, almost polished with nothing
as death' heavy footfall approaches, burning, corrupting
the continent writhes and cracks with the weight
the hooded figure looked on me with shrouded face
and madness my shield, solemn, secure,
said "you will look upon this child no more"

red skies to our backs, and iron blue north
is where we set our eyes and then set our course  
she (madness) took my hand and caressed my cheek
and spoke subtle words beautiful and unique
she kissed my face and the kiss made me warm
with death well behind, with vile plagues and swarms
she told me she loved me and loved me so deep
she made me promises, she promised never to keep
i was hers and she was mine
we came to a wood to which folly inclined
and death in the distance, followed our lead
madness and I waved to love and disease
and the world was all equal and shock and delight
then surprise came beside us and vanished from sight
we had laughter and hope and sadness alike
but something was dark about the woods and the sights
a shade was on all, and glittering ceased
and a quality which should've been there, not gone, but deceased...

i let go of her hand and played it cool
she continued to talk while i played the fool
the wood was heavy now dark with a mist
and fog was purple and the smell made one sick
i checked my right shoulder and death was so close!
i sprang back from madness in angry revolt
You lead me here! in this horrid pit to die!
but madness just smiled and made no reply
and death smashed trees and tore its own trail
and madness just waved like a beautiful girl  
the branches were hard and covered with thorns
and death was gaining on me with ease and with scorn
i scrambled and climbed and thrashed through thick brush
i was cut on the rocks and choking on dust
the trees had their arms and their fingers and faces
and each of them grabbed me with claws and with razors
the light! up ahead! the freedom of choice!
I will die one day but not through this vice!
i kick and i screamed and death nearly took hold
but i fell into light and lightning and cold

and the water all around was like a dimension of ocean
i awoke without breath, direction or motion
at peace, till my lungs compelled me to the surface
i obliged, so as not to offend my loyal servants

i came ashore to a land mossy and green,
filled with sweet lust, threat-less death and some greed
an island, a beach that spoke, and a different shade
this one brighter and less dreamlike than the wood madness made
and i walked ashore with more than before
i had held the hand of madness and lived once more