This is Hell

This is hell.
Not a day goes by
where my demons don't run wild.
I can run, but I can't hide.
They always break free from inside.
I must be dead.
How could I have survived?
I flipped 40 feet.
This is all a lie.
This is hell.
Not a day goes by
where my demons don't run wild.
All this time, I still can't let go
so I've created a realm of a world that I know.
Day in and day out,
I cry and I pout.
I'm so sad, but I don't know what about.
All I do here results in pain.
Pain of my loved ones, oh they would gain,
so much peace. So much joy,
if I left now, they wouldn't cry...
Not for very long, at least.
Their daughter would be gone.
My father would weep.
My mother would scream.
My brother would lose it.
They would all go mad.
Who am I to choose this?
I won't take my life. I'm not nearly that selfish.
Though, sometimes I fear it's already gone.
This is hell.
Not a day goes by
where my demons don't run wild.