deepundergroundpoetry.com
One fine morning
One fine morning a feeble voice
replied from the depths of the sea,
high on the summer’s sun,
I went to the bale of hay
to think of the innocence
with everything winding in;
I wouldn't trade the existence,
in the wash of silence, I woke again.
replied from the depths of the sea,
high on the summer’s sun,
I went to the bale of hay
to think of the innocence
with everything winding in;
I wouldn't trade the existence,
in the wash of silence, I woke again.
Published 10th Jul 2014
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The author encourages honest critique.
10th Jul 2014 6:16pm
I found this piece to be really dark. You have this beautiful imagery that makes everything sound so peaceful. Then you have "I woke again". Makes it seem like you woke up surround by dead bodies or something. Really liked the contrast.
Thank you Spitz, the "I woke again" might be to the beta decay of society. :)
11th Jul 2014 8:04am
True. I didn't want to mention the dead bodies. Did you know there's a relation to helium and radioactive decay. Made me laugh anyway; epstay overway emthay.. :)
10th Jul 2014 11:10pm
this is one of those poems where
I really like the sound and image
without grasping the meaning of
either...oh, but your use of words
beguiles..:)
I really like the sound and image
without grasping the meaning of
either...oh, but your use of words
beguiles..:)
11th Jul 2014 4:44am
