The Compilation

I wake up in the morning and the sickness begins.

So I scramble looking around for my best friend.

A friend who has never let me down.

A friend who's there as long as Ben's around.


A point some would call a star.

We look around to see from afar.

See if we can find somewhere safe.

See if we can find our own place.


A pin, a prick, just a little bit.

It's my life filled with last hits.

Just a little pain, a normal relationship.

Nothing wrong with liking chains and whips.


I don't know you at all but I let you in.

Inside my veins to feel your kiss again.

My arms are wide open waiting for you.

Come right in and fulfill your half of the promise too!


Even with your lies I call you friend.

So I follow you down this road again.

With every broken promise my heart breaks.

Yet I still refuse to acknowledge your love's fake.


I'm in this 100%.

But I can't recall when it all began.

Then I remember where our past starts,

And suddenly feel all these darts...


All the pain that has been caused in your name.

All the stupid, selfish things I did in for the game!

This game that most can't handle.

So we run, dip, just a little prick, a crazy scramble.


My family, friends, and those I care all gone away.

Pushed away for you; so you would stay.

Some would say my choice was wrong.

But I've done this for you all along.


Do you even care about my sacrifice?

Do the scars, tracks, and abandonment all suffice?

So many broken and sleepless nights,

Wondering again will you be alright...?


I feel like I've lost you, but were you ever mine?

My friends say stand straight, you'll be fine.

But what are friends anymore?

I thought you were, I swore to my core.


My head is spinning as I contemplate...

I thought I loved you, but was it hate?

Was it all in my mind? I can't tell.

So I fix again, and crawl into my shell.


When my mind clears I realize I'm in hell.

It's my life, it's where I dwell.

The chaos dies down for those sweet few hours,

But now I see the problem's still on the prowl.


What have I accomplished these last few years?

Have I become my greatest fear?

It seems so trivial, so incomplete.

The veins burn filling myself with heat.

True love I know this is. You were the only one for years. I'll give you it all, nothing I wouldn't sacrifice. I'd kill, I'd even die, just to have you here one last night.

True hate I'm sure of it. You tormented my life and existence for years. I wish I could rid of you for good; all that sacrifice. Fuck you, I hate you, get outta my life. This isn't spite.

This is my life; a compilation of love and hate.


**This is a poem written by myself and a fellow poet/friend jeromegilbertson40. It is truly, a compilation.**