A Daughters Plea

When you look at me you no longer see the daughter that you used to cherish and love
When you think of me you no longer think of me as a beautiful blessing from up above
Instead when you look at me you see a junkie that you no longer trust but despise
Instead when you think of me you think of a heavy burden with which you want to cut ties
But mommy I'm still your baby I just got lost on this journey we call life and took the wrong path
But I'm trying to slowly piece my life together so I no longer need to hear your accusing wrath
With every hurtful word you say you take me back to that place of desolation and sorrow
To a place of hopelessness where I no longer look forward to tomorrow
My mistakes are mine and I would never try to put them off on you
But before I can truly heal I need you to admit that you played a role in my addiction too
I learned by example I could only see what you let be revealed
While I was growing up your own addiction was never concealed
So just take time to think about that the next time you want to belittle me
The next time you want to judge me reflect on your own life and realize from the chains of addiction we both need to be set free
Just know that even though we're weathering a storm I still love you so much
I miss hearing those words from you and I long for your mothers touch
I wish you could see to the depth of me so you would know this time I'm really clean
It has finally sunk in there's no longer a need for the harsh words no need for you to be so mean
Please mommy be gentle with me because everyday is a struggle
A desperate lonely gal lost and confused in this concrete jungle
This is the hardest thing I've ever been through and I need a supporting mother by my side
Forgive me please to you again I apologize I admit I've stolen I admit Ive lied
But that's the past I'm no longer in the same space as I was before
I'm no longer a slave to Xanax and Oxycodone my soul doesn't crave it anymore
I stand today as a stronger woman no longer the weak one from the past
But I still need my mothers encouragement that's the only way this sobriety will last