deepundergroundpoetry.com
Frustration
As i see you in pain
I am getting frustrated
Knowing i am causeing
The pain you are feeling
Is the pain i am feeling too
Standing and sitting
Apart from each other
Knowing the same pain
Getting more frustrated as
I feel the pain
No matter
The pain will remain there
Until we talk to each other
I am getting frustrated
Knowing i am causeing
The pain you are feeling
Is the pain i am feeling too
Standing and sitting
Apart from each other
Knowing the same pain
Getting more frustrated as
I feel the pain
No matter
The pain will remain there
Until we talk to each other
Published 5th Apr 2014
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The author encourages honest critique.
6th Apr 2014 00:09am
Welcome to DU:)
I like the thought you have going, maybe just work on the wording (for example the word pain is used five times, maybe try looking for different ways of saying the same thing)
Nicely done.
Xx
I like the thought you have going, maybe just work on the wording (for example the word pain is used five times, maybe try looking for different ways of saying the same thing)
Nicely done.
Xx
6th Apr 2014 00:13am
6th Apr 2014 1:49am
Anonymous
9th Apr 2014 5:46am
Heart expressing write. Well done. :)
