deepundergroundpoetry.com
missing pieces
i am a jigsaw,
that's no metaphor,
i'm one bought from a charity shop,
so many bits missing that makes me so lost
in a world where everyone seems so complete
but i can't even walk, can't find my feet
and i really need a girl to sing into my arms,
a girl who can tap in and feel my heart
when she lies with her head on my chest.
that's no metaphor,
i'm one bought from a charity shop,
so many bits missing that makes me so lost
in a world where everyone seems so complete
but i can't even walk, can't find my feet
and i really need a girl to sing into my arms,
a girl who can tap in and feel my heart
when she lies with her head on my chest.
Published 10th Mar 2011
| Edited 14th Mar 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 5
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Easy read. Endearing too for the ideal, though I think everyone thinks it has to be complex. Let it (being that "romance" thing) be as easy as the words and you'll find a footing.
11th Mar 2011 12:56pm
11th Mar 2011 00:08am
I found it was a very good read, but I found one fault with it:
Capitalization makes it look alot more sophisticated and just better.
Capitalization makes it look alot more sophisticated and just better.
11th Mar 2011 12:55pm
makes it look? i ain't a painter.
sophisticated? i ain't a scientist.
(this sounds pettier than it's supposed to be, i'm just replying - thankyou for the comment anyroad, at least someone cares right?)
sophisticated? i ain't a scientist.
(this sounds pettier than it's supposed to be, i'm just replying - thankyou for the comment anyroad, at least someone cares right?)
12th Mar 2011 1:15am
I'd disagree, I find capitalization to be useful in some situations and better off removed in others. And removing capitalization altogether is better than misusing it; I think that's what really makes a piece look unsophisticated. But it's all up to opinion.
