life

in the dark of a my home
is my dead body
as i longer don't need it
a broken heart was something that
i didn't want

all my life was lies
nothing was futher from the truth
everyone lied to me
no one wanted to understand me

when i died did you hear
people say we are going to miss her
or will they say i am glad that
she is gone...

in the end i had nothing else
left for me.
my future was destroyed
by demons how oke my life away

demons had taken over my life
demons came in my dreams
which gave me night-mares
of them coming and taking
my life away


i wanted sercurity
in my life in a boy
which i would love for ever
i wanted sercurity
in my work as everyone there
was horrible and cruel
to me...
as they always forgot about me
and THIS KILLED MEE...

i was one of the most incredibe
girls you could have ever meet
i had friends but i didn't know if
they were real or not...

i didn't know if they
would be there if i tried
to pushed them away...
or if they would stay with me...

my fragility and battles with depression
was the hardest thing of all...
i was over dosing with drugs to
keep my low esteem
where no one could see that
there was anything wrong with me...

i had panic attacks
so much that no one could
understand why
not even doctors
my ups and downs were even worse

as some days i cried and cried
and others i had no feeling at all...
people didn't know what drived me mentally
and neither did i

for months i attempted sucide
as everyone targeted me
to be the bad one
which this caused my down ward spiral


for years i've been trying
to find work and figure my life out
but i have given up on myself
and everyone around me...

with a rope around my throat
with the other end attached
to a fan,
then i let it go on fast
and let it wipe the energy
out of me clean with blood
pouring out of me...

with this fatal move
it could kill me in seconds
and it could also save me
from the demons that chase
after me every night...

the lose of sightness in my eyes
and im yours
makes it a lot harder  for me to understand
myself and others...

i have given up on my life
and everyone elses
this is why i have to go
GOODBYE EVERYONE ...
i never want to see you  again ....
i hope i can find a better life for me to be and neve have to worry about you or anyone else AGAIN....