Not of your love's nature

I am alive, my love, and thoroughly better than you,
time's clarity slowly seeping through my mind's dusty halls,
I was eager to please, thinking love was forever true,
now gaping wounds close even as your hurtful rage apalls.

Intuition warned me of your jaded love's sharpened thorns,
if I'd known where you would take me I'd have ended my life.
Your hidden, murky motives took on new and obscene forms,
your surface, soothing, placid, offered to become my wife.

Quiet shameless reason has brought me free of your designs,
out from under your shadow, an unusual calm my prize.
An ocean of contemplation, vast, wise and full of signs,
zany thoughts just lapping waves, not tsunamis of lies.

Your young, x-rated vision of what love is meant to be,
is but an ant next to the star of what it means to me.