To my sister in the army.

I thought id be okay without you,
But God knows how fucking bad I need you

My soul has never felt so lost

It's dark in here
It's like my body is merely a shell
And inside is nothing
It's as if the very life was stripped from me
Down to my bones,
Like the pain burned straight through flesh
But kept going..
This, darkness
It wrapped its' arms around my heart
from the deepest pit in hell,
And left me fucking lifeless
Day in,
Day out,
Reminders of where I wish you could be
Searching for solace in your letters
Because only your words ease the pain,
Holding on to your voice that I can still hear in my head,
I try to control my tears,
Try so hard to be okay in your absence,
But you've let your mark on me
You were the rock,
Now my foundation is gone..

I'm dying to just fall to my knees and cry for you,
I don't want to pretend anymore,
I need you here
I need you to tell me it's okay, that it'll be okay..
But I made a promise, that I'd stay strong for you
And though it kills me in the worst possible way
I will fight,
Just as hard as you are
And when I get my soldier back,
I will NEVER let you go.

- to my strongest half