Me Mind

Attention all tenets and staff of Hotel Meus Animus (my mind, literally: me soul/mind), Room 6532ALPHA-GAMMA-XENO of S-Block is flooded with radiation.
It is advised to avoid the entire S-Block despite the cannabis dispensers being located there.  
The Ferretopian Empire shall fix this issue before the second blessing of the almighty Orpheus (the mythical Greek poet).
 
At 17:30, sheets should be escorted to the morgue before the corpses die of freezer burn.  
Corpses are very sensitive to coldness.  
You wouldn't want them to be angry before they return, right?
 
Food storages are to be expected due to the cabbage-cow genocides, guests are encouraged to venture into cannibalism.
Staff is off limits, who could even catch one?  
They seem to teleport once spotted. And who could chew threw their metal skin, or avoid their... Eyes?  
Realism should be your verified ally.
 
Staff remember, guests are not to be hunted inside of the chapels.  
They are holy places, one where apples should grow and where the sky must be blue 4729C at all time.

Best Buy reminds you: They see you.  Run...Run! Silence the discord.  
June 29th, 218XVT, Best Buy is located in X-Block next to the zoo that fails to be consistently there.  
Tired of family discourse? Tired of sleepless nights due to shattering glass, screaming and arguing? Sucks, right?
 
On Tuesday, Laundry Day will commence.  
Laundry Day is a mandatory holiday.  
Anyone doing anything but laundry will be thrown into the abyss.
Election Day will also be on Tuesday, anyone voting shall too know the holy bliss of the void. What a shame!  
Well, Emperor Ambrose (never dying) shall remain Emperor until next election.
 
New Berlin has announced that they will take over K-Block.
New Berlin shall soon be the biggest faction once they take K-Block from the vile Xenoian Alliance.  
Hopefully citizens of K-Block forget to restock their military’s automated defense systems.  
 
The hotel shall experience black outs every hour starting tomorrow due to the celebration of the Dark Hour!
Children, do not scream.  
The darkness is to be welcomed and cherished.  
You screaming interrupts others worship time, and will cause you to be hunted by the Lost.
 
Finally, Staff should target guests of C-Block and P-Block due to slave revolts.  
The citizens have failed their only duty. Make sure no traitor gets a grave.
 
Return to your stations within ten minutes or the staff will not have to go to dinner today.
Glory to the Emperor! Glory to Priz...Hotel Meus Animus!