Blue Sands (Rap Song)

Checked the horizon but don't see it coming up in the sequence
Since the colors stay familiar regardless of what's in season
Checked the horizon but don't see it coming up in the sequence
Cause it's the only place I know and I'm not sure how to leave it

Since grade school I've been a different breed
Talk to all kinds of people, they don't listen to me
It's like a kick in the teeth, constant rinse and repeat
My feigned closeness only grows all the distance between
Never self-harmed, both wrists have been clean
Still I struggle to hold smiles through my glistenin teeth
Psychology says they can pass me a pill
So I can actually feel and don't have to be ill
Wow I'm magically healed, substance wanna attract me
Just gives credence to the demons that've already trapped me
If brains are programs mine runs a foreign language
On a version where introversion has been stored as basic
But I can sorta fake it, think record and place it
In the sordid space which I contort arrangements
Meta-morphic matrix, escape today and last week
Then I can forget to consider if I'm happy

I need a new plan to escape in this desert that I grew and
Can't figure out what to do when I'm covered in this blue sand
Dunes stand tall, impassible obelisks
Don't know, so don't ask me what the problem is
Seems every grain is the same shade of depression
& Maybe I'll mention none of my movements make an impression
Can't say that I'm stressing to explain the sinking feeling
That's constant in my stomach, got me thinking really
Stayed with the sentiment so long I've made a bed of it
Steada regretting it I rest my head in the sediment
Yea, rest my head in the sediment
Settled in, something a sentimental sentence won't meddle with
Happiness? Now what is that?
Cause any step I take leads me straight to coming back
I've got nothing to say since I'm stuck under the weight
You need a destination to start running away