deepundergroundpoetry.com
My Inner Voice
Long and drawn is your wearing face
Your stride without much grace
Why don't you stop to have a think
To why your life is on the brink
Now it's not easy for thus I know
Some days red hot others cold as snow
But no matter what hardships yr forced to stand
Just imagine I'm there to hold your hand
And what u need to remember ever day
This is not a life long game
You want to play
Your stride without much grace
Why don't you stop to have a think
To why your life is on the brink
Now it's not easy for thus I know
Some days red hot others cold as snow
But no matter what hardships yr forced to stand
Just imagine I'm there to hold your hand
And what u need to remember ever day
This is not a life long game
You want to play
Published 23rd Dec 2013
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The author encourages honest critique.
23rd Dec 2013 6:32pm
hey miss
i saw u posted 2 poems rather quickly, while im sure theres some devastating content there, id advise u to take some time and really make something powerfull, quallity over quantity
i saw u posted 2 poems rather quickly, while im sure theres some devastating content there, id advise u to take some time and really make something powerfull, quallity over quantity
24th Dec 2013 2:19am
This poem seems to show that you care deeply about someone who uses/used drugs and you want them to stop. You could try working more connotation and show not tell to make your poem more powerful.
