12 days of christmas

Twelve Days of Christmas


On the 1st day of Christmas the Postman gave to me,
a letter with my annual 'Garden Weekly' fee...

On the 2nd day of Christmas the Postman put through my door,
a letter of complaint from the fucking Law!!!

On the 3rd Day of Christmas the Postman knocked and said,
"Sorry wrong house, get yourself back to bed"...

On the 4th Day of Christmas the Postman knocked again,
with a Recorded Summons,, but he never had a pen!!!

On the 5th Day of Christmas the Postman, Oh did he rattle,
on my door knocker selling Fishing Tackle???

On the 6th Day of Christmas I was getting rather sick,
of this retarded Postman, the dateless fucking prick!!!

On the 7th Day of Christmas the Postman never did knock,
He'd been caught in his van playing with his Cock!!!

On the 8th Day of Christmas I'm still waiting for my mail,
all that came was a leaflet advertising "Holly for Sale"...

On the 9th Day of Christmas the Postman came once more,
with tonnes of letters and parcels galore!!!

On the 10th Day of Christmas the Postman said to me,
"Fancey a quicky under your Chrimbo Tree"???

On the 11th Day of Christmas the Postman was seen no more,
I'd killed the twat and burried him under my kitchen floor!!!

On the 12th Day of Christmas I got a knock off St. Nick,
He'd brought me two huge sacks and gave me a go on his prick !!!!!!!


Merry Christmas !
by
Juli-Anne Bell