Reevaluation

What's so good about being in it for the long run?
Love, security, commitment and whatever the X else...I get it. But do we really need this in this point in time?  
Why has fate been so cruel yet tender.
Ahhh fate. If only you were a bit more mature, wiser.  
If only you had enough mercy.  
You allow me to be bound to a beautiful soul in the worst of times  
To cherish, love, and give in to my appetite.  
Yet dinner is served too soon.  
Before I've had a chance to even put my foot in the door, I'm already home.  
 
I must focus and be patient, the best is yet to come.  
I crave, I crave yet despise closeness for I am unreliable.  
I am inconsistent.  
But, I am so with a consistency that he understands or at least tries to.
Time is precious so are we doing the right thing?  
It seems we have both failed with these lover's eyes...  
I am willing to take this risk with you.  
The risk of waiting.  
Yet I am scared.  
Fearful of disappointment and shattered dreams.
 
Now I see, there is no doubt that I want you.
I must have you.
But what happens next?  
We can not let go but, our hands are becoming calloused and dry. Ready for self destruction is it not?  
Understand me. Please understand me.
This is not being driven by lust but something bigger,  
something eternal.
I have finally figured it out.
Terrifying, inviting and oh so important,
the essential ingredient for a fulfilling life.  
Rules are bendable here I know.  
There is no reason to lose you.