Death of Me

As the days pass slowly
and the weeks creep by,
I find myself obsessing
over ways that I could die.

I lay awake at night
thinking of my pain,
there's no way life can get better
I have nothing left to gain.

Suddenly thoughts of death
control my every move,
all the battles with my mind,
I always seem to lose.

I no longer want to be around
all the people that I love,
all that I can think about
Is what's waiting up above.

I want to cut myself with razor blades
to dull the pain inside,
but that thought doesn't last long
I don't want to be alive.

I manage to keep my cool
when people are around,
nobody would understand me
so I don't make a sound.

I smile when I have to
I break down when I don't,
I know I need to be strong
but I know that I won't.

So, I plan to take some pills
It shouldn't take very long,
I plan on writing notes to my family
to read after I'm gone.

I want you to understand
that life is way to hard,
I can't fight it anymore
I'm forever scared.

I plan it out perfectly
I even set a date,
I'm pretty sure I'm ready
I want to face my fate.

I try to stay strong
and pray for the best,
but this feeling doesn't last long
it's my time to rest.

I want to be the daughter
you love and cherish so much,
but I know that I can't
it's to much to clutch.

I know that I have lied
and I've made you upset,
but it's my time to go
you must forgive and forget.