The Insane Old Man

The first time I ever hurt someone I remember very clearly.
I remember not knowing what happened and why there was suddenly blood rushing from his face.

The next time it happened I was a little bit older but still I didn't fully understand.

I was just young enough to be going into the first grade.
I didn't hit him or throw anything at him.
He scared me pretty bad, and I thought for sure he was going to hurt me.

I shut my eyes and winced bracing for the hit to come.

It didn't, so I opened my eyes and he was on the ground seizing and foaming at the mouth.


I thought for sure I had control over it by the time I had gotten into sophomore year of high school.
But It only got worse from there.

We even had to move a couple of times before they started thinking I was some wack job.

all through high school anyone that gave me the slightest problem at any of the schools I'd transfer to they'd fall to the floor with some kind of major problem.

After high school I chose to sign myself up for medical school in hopes of finding the answer to my problems without getting anyone else involved.

Admittedly a curious major with my lineage being market workers, and the odd banker.

But after a 4 year program, I found little information on anything regarding my condition. (Besides learning I have a history of brain aneurysms in my family)

I decided If I didn't know what it was it may be best to put myself on the line for tests at the military.
After going through med school the cost was little trouble to put a global ad on the radio that I was looking for military testing to be done, and that I was a dangerous weapon.

It wasn't long at all before the FBI, and swat teams were breaking through my door and barraging me with angry and obscene questions.
They did all sorts of crude, and unethically dangerous tests on me involving radiation, and electric shocks to the brain.
None of them relating to helping me, or figure out how I could control what was happening.

It took maybe a year of these inconclusive tests before they got bored, and fed up and sent me away with a non disclosure act.

I was left with severe pain and twitches after that, and couldn't see anything but fuzzy lines and dots for about 5 years.

That's the military for you.

I didn't talk about it for years because I thought maybe if I waited long enough something would explain itself, or I could go in to the doctor for a diagnosis.

Many years passed and I never married or had children.

Every girl I ever got involved with, as soon as our first fight would roll around,
even they would fall victim to my sickness.

So this is my last letter,
as a lonely old man in an insanity ward at a maximum security psych ward in California.

Not a single person alive out there, or in here believes my story.

especially the part involving the FBI.
and I don't want to hurt anybody anymore.
I was instructed to write a letter by my attorney declaring insanity

but I'm not insane.
every word I've said is true.
What you choose to believe is up to you.

I don't need to win you over, or convince you that I haven't been yanking your chain the entire time you've been reading this.
Who knows, maybe I'm as crazy as you say and all this is a big publicity stunt to get famous.
But tell me.
would an old man, who's had an "off the record" life until now really need to make a scene and get noticed?
You Tell me.